"You won't understand"
"You won't understand"
How often have we heard this statement impatiently said from one to another? It could be from a parent to a child ... it could be from an older child to a parent ... it could be from a teacher to a student ... it could be from an older sibling to a younger sibling ... and so on.
I heard this statement said from a daughter to her elderly mother when I brought my mum for her medical appointment this morning. I don't mean to eavesdrop their conversation but she was loud enough to be heard. From her mumblings and so on, I gathered that they had waited in the clinic for over an hour or so, and had just checked with the clinic staff why their wait was so long, only to be told that her mother's file was not brought to that particular clinic, and hence the file did not reach the doctor and her queue number wasn't called. When her mother asked her what happened, she said in a somewhat frustrated tone, "your file wasn't brought to this clinic", to which the reply was, "oh, they brought the wrong file?" and the daughter impatiently said, "no lah, aiya, tell you also, you won't understand ..."
As I was seated there listening to what was said, suddenly my heart aches ... (1) for her mother - how would she have received what the daughter has just said to her, after all, what she wanted to know is just what had happened, is it so trying to explain or so difficult to understand ... (2) for myself, as I reflected and found myself guilty of doing the same thing at times to my own mother ... (3) for my own mother - for the heartaches she must have felt the many times I said things in impatience to her instead of taking time to explain what she needed to understand and know ... sigh* Lord, forgive me for the way I treat my loved ones ...
As I think deeper, I suddenly realized that this statement, very often, was said not because things were difficult to explain or the person was too dumb to understand - I think very often we just refuse to "inconvenience" ourselves - taking the time needed, the energy needed, the patience needed, and so on, to ensure our listeners understand what we are saying at the end of it. In any case, if we have love enough for those we are speaking to, we find that very often we speak with tenderness and with patience, don't we?
Think about those moments when parents patiently read bedtime stories to their children when they were younger ... those moments when parents patiently sit by their children to coach them in their homework ... - irony of ironies isn't it, when we grow up, we become so impatient with someone so dear and so close to us who had showed so much patience towards us. What went wrong? It's a shame that the closer the person is to you, the more you would tend to take him or her for granted, isn't it? Maybe we feel that they know us too well, accept us too readily, love us too much to bear any anger towards us for the way we treat them.
For you to ponder ... and me as well - and for us to repent and change if we are truly guilty of this. Our elderly parents definitely deserve better treatment than this.
How often have we heard this statement impatiently said from one to another? It could be from a parent to a child ... it could be from an older child to a parent ... it could be from a teacher to a student ... it could be from an older sibling to a younger sibling ... and so on.
I heard this statement said from a daughter to her elderly mother when I brought my mum for her medical appointment this morning. I don't mean to eavesdrop their conversation but she was loud enough to be heard. From her mumblings and so on, I gathered that they had waited in the clinic for over an hour or so, and had just checked with the clinic staff why their wait was so long, only to be told that her mother's file was not brought to that particular clinic, and hence the file did not reach the doctor and her queue number wasn't called. When her mother asked her what happened, she said in a somewhat frustrated tone, "your file wasn't brought to this clinic", to which the reply was, "oh, they brought the wrong file?" and the daughter impatiently said, "no lah, aiya, tell you also, you won't understand ..."
As I was seated there listening to what was said, suddenly my heart aches ... (1) for her mother - how would she have received what the daughter has just said to her, after all, what she wanted to know is just what had happened, is it so trying to explain or so difficult to understand ... (2) for myself, as I reflected and found myself guilty of doing the same thing at times to my own mother ... (3) for my own mother - for the heartaches she must have felt the many times I said things in impatience to her instead of taking time to explain what she needed to understand and know ... sigh* Lord, forgive me for the way I treat my loved ones ...
As I think deeper, I suddenly realized that this statement, very often, was said not because things were difficult to explain or the person was too dumb to understand - I think very often we just refuse to "inconvenience" ourselves - taking the time needed, the energy needed, the patience needed, and so on, to ensure our listeners understand what we are saying at the end of it. In any case, if we have love enough for those we are speaking to, we find that very often we speak with tenderness and with patience, don't we?
Think about those moments when parents patiently read bedtime stories to their children when they were younger ... those moments when parents patiently sit by their children to coach them in their homework ... - irony of ironies isn't it, when we grow up, we become so impatient with someone so dear and so close to us who had showed so much patience towards us. What went wrong? It's a shame that the closer the person is to you, the more you would tend to take him or her for granted, isn't it? Maybe we feel that they know us too well, accept us too readily, love us too much to bear any anger towards us for the way we treat them.
For you to ponder ... and me as well - and for us to repent and change if we are truly guilty of this. Our elderly parents definitely deserve better treatment than this.
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