Faith ... pre-experiential faith ...
Faith ... pre-experiential faith ...
Phew! FD service is over - the major load upon me is off! Thank God for helping me throughout the service - keeping me calm and confident, and giving me ability to articulate the right words (haha, just recalling the many blunders I made during yesterday afternoon's rehearsal - today was close perfect!! =)
Well, some of my friends were asking me if I'm going to write on "Faith ... pre-experiential faith" which we discussed about during class on Wednesday. Yes, I think that's something that provoke me to think and sometimes by writing, it causes me to reflect and ponder over issues like this as well.
My lecturer shared with us a quotation "Faith is made credible by experience, but before we can understand our experience in a way that supports faith, we must have faith." (Sorry, I didn't quite get the person who came up with this quote, so I'm not able to make acknowledgement to the person here - once I know who wrote this, I'll acknowledge it =)
So, what do you all think? Do we have faith first, or our faith "evolve" as a result of experience? To me, this is something like a chicken-and-egg argument: which comes first?
Personally, I believe there are already some elements of faith in us towards something or someone - but when we choose to act upon that faith to trust that something or someone, and they do not let us down, our faith hence increases. In a similar manner, if our experience is negative, then our faith level decreases as a result.
Well, whether we are believers or not, I subscribed to the fact that we do have "that" faith in us - awaiting to be "awakened" to a higher level - especially when we are caught in a situation that seems beyond our control, it's when we will somehow be willing to "activate" this faith and "give it a try". If the experience is positive, then our faith level increases, and faith is hence made credible by experience.
But then again, the issue of faith is not something so simple that we can discuss so easily with words or by words. Faith journey is always a wrestling with God - isn't it so? I'll share a bit of what I meant ...
Being someone that is an optimist, I believe God totally when He said "nothing is impossible" and I claim it! Well, it's easy for me to act on this aspect of my faith with regard to matters of ministry, etc - things in general and things in the spiritual realm, so to say. But then again, I have to admit that I struggle with faith in God in some areas of my life - one very personal aspects which I will not share here (only very close friends know =), and the other is with regard to my family members ...
I struggle with the fact that though I have been a Christian for so many years, God seems to be taking such a long time with regard to family salvation for my household (only my brother, my sis-in-law, my neice and myself are Christians - the rest of my siblings, bro-in-laws, nephews and neice are not). Whatever has happened to "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved - you and your household"? (Acts 16:31)
And I guess "to make matters worse", God took my dad away 7 years ago when he had a heart attack and it happened during lunar new year, after reunion dinner, to be precise. It shocked the entire family because my dad never had any heart problem though he was diabetic. I can't forget the scene in the hospital when he was warded in ICU hooked up with all the tubes and machines - he never came out of coma and never said "goodbye" to us! Yes, my pastor came, my church friends came, we prayed in his ward, and we trusted God in His grace but I never had an answer where my dad is right now ...
This became a nightmare for me - everytime I visit hospitals and come across patients hooked up with tubes and machines, struggling and fighting for their lives, I'm scared - REAL scared. I've developed a phobia. My mum took it real bad in the initial months and we were so worried for her.
The other struggle I had (still having) is that whenever my mum's not well, I begin to be very afraid and start imagining the worse (I know I should not). Well, the reason is because she hardly fall ill (though she has hypertension and gout - and her hypertension medication has also somewhat affected her kidney condition though she need not be on dialysis) during the many years of her life, and since my father's death, her health has not been as good. Everytime she is unwell, I'm very "traumatised" and afraid I'll have to go through the shock I had all over again - I can't deny that I'm really afraid and scared. In fact, just yesterday she had not been well at all - no appetite and vomitting almost a major part of the night. I was literally jumping off my chair in the study room when I heard sound coming from her room where she should be sleeping and resting. Thank God, she's much better today.
In some aspects of my life, my faith experience is positive; whereas in some, it's negative - that's why I said I'm struggling with God and wrestling with Him. But one thing I'm really thankful is that this God that I have is patient with me and understands my struggles, failures and confusion - and though I can't understand with human finite minds why things happened the way it happened, I know He will not fail me! God just have to be extra-patient with me in areas that I struggle with Him and give me baby steps which I know I can confidently take, one at a time.
Faith before experience ... or experiences before faith - it's somewhat both, isn't it?
Phew! FD service is over - the major load upon me is off! Thank God for helping me throughout the service - keeping me calm and confident, and giving me ability to articulate the right words (haha, just recalling the many blunders I made during yesterday afternoon's rehearsal - today was close perfect!! =)
Well, some of my friends were asking me if I'm going to write on "Faith ... pre-experiential faith" which we discussed about during class on Wednesday. Yes, I think that's something that provoke me to think and sometimes by writing, it causes me to reflect and ponder over issues like this as well.
My lecturer shared with us a quotation "Faith is made credible by experience, but before we can understand our experience in a way that supports faith, we must have faith." (Sorry, I didn't quite get the person who came up with this quote, so I'm not able to make acknowledgement to the person here - once I know who wrote this, I'll acknowledge it =)
So, what do you all think? Do we have faith first, or our faith "evolve" as a result of experience? To me, this is something like a chicken-and-egg argument: which comes first?
Personally, I believe there are already some elements of faith in us towards something or someone - but when we choose to act upon that faith to trust that something or someone, and they do not let us down, our faith hence increases. In a similar manner, if our experience is negative, then our faith level decreases as a result.
Well, whether we are believers or not, I subscribed to the fact that we do have "that" faith in us - awaiting to be "awakened" to a higher level - especially when we are caught in a situation that seems beyond our control, it's when we will somehow be willing to "activate" this faith and "give it a try". If the experience is positive, then our faith level increases, and faith is hence made credible by experience.
But then again, the issue of faith is not something so simple that we can discuss so easily with words or by words. Faith journey is always a wrestling with God - isn't it so? I'll share a bit of what I meant ...
Being someone that is an optimist, I believe God totally when He said "nothing is impossible" and I claim it! Well, it's easy for me to act on this aspect of my faith with regard to matters of ministry, etc - things in general and things in the spiritual realm, so to say. But then again, I have to admit that I struggle with faith in God in some areas of my life - one very personal aspects which I will not share here (only very close friends know =), and the other is with regard to my family members ...
I struggle with the fact that though I have been a Christian for so many years, God seems to be taking such a long time with regard to family salvation for my household (only my brother, my sis-in-law, my neice and myself are Christians - the rest of my siblings, bro-in-laws, nephews and neice are not). Whatever has happened to "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved - you and your household"? (Acts 16:31)
And I guess "to make matters worse", God took my dad away 7 years ago when he had a heart attack and it happened during lunar new year, after reunion dinner, to be precise. It shocked the entire family because my dad never had any heart problem though he was diabetic. I can't forget the scene in the hospital when he was warded in ICU hooked up with all the tubes and machines - he never came out of coma and never said "goodbye" to us! Yes, my pastor came, my church friends came, we prayed in his ward, and we trusted God in His grace but I never had an answer where my dad is right now ...
This became a nightmare for me - everytime I visit hospitals and come across patients hooked up with tubes and machines, struggling and fighting for their lives, I'm scared - REAL scared. I've developed a phobia. My mum took it real bad in the initial months and we were so worried for her.
The other struggle I had (still having) is that whenever my mum's not well, I begin to be very afraid and start imagining the worse (I know I should not). Well, the reason is because she hardly fall ill (though she has hypertension and gout - and her hypertension medication has also somewhat affected her kidney condition though she need not be on dialysis) during the many years of her life, and since my father's death, her health has not been as good. Everytime she is unwell, I'm very "traumatised" and afraid I'll have to go through the shock I had all over again - I can't deny that I'm really afraid and scared. In fact, just yesterday she had not been well at all - no appetite and vomitting almost a major part of the night. I was literally jumping off my chair in the study room when I heard sound coming from her room where she should be sleeping and resting. Thank God, she's much better today.
In some aspects of my life, my faith experience is positive; whereas in some, it's negative - that's why I said I'm struggling with God and wrestling with Him. But one thing I'm really thankful is that this God that I have is patient with me and understands my struggles, failures and confusion - and though I can't understand with human finite minds why things happened the way it happened, I know He will not fail me! God just have to be extra-patient with me in areas that I struggle with Him and give me baby steps which I know I can confidently take, one at a time.
Faith before experience ... or experiences before faith - it's somewhat both, isn't it?
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