In loving memory of dad
In loving memory of dad
Today is Father's Day. My family have not celebrated Father's Day for 9 years (this year inclusive) ever since my dad passed away on 17 Feb 1999.
I come from a very traditional Chinese family where exchanges of "I love you" are not freely spoken, neither are gestures of love (hugs and embraces) freely given. Nevertheless, I grew up in a very good family environment where my parents (even though they received less than primary school education) loved and cared for every single one of us, and they also taught us very good characters and values in life. As I recall my younger days and what I learnt from my dad, I thought I'd write this in loving memory of him ...
1) Hardwork and commitment - my dad was the only breadwinner for many years until my siblings stepped out into the working world after completing their education. Despite the number of mouths he had to feed (my mum, plus 6 children), dad never grumbled about how hard he had to work to bring in the bacon. In fact, mum always told us how great a dad we had - especially when he was the only breadwinner, he could even single-handedly buy a well-furnished, decent looking 4-room flat for all of us to stay in, and also ensuring that all of us have our basic education (at least until the end of Sec 4). None of us had to stop our education half-way to work or supplement family income, neither did we remember any day when we ever starve from hunger. That was how great a dad I had that showed us a true example of not being afraid of hardwork and commitment.
2) Love for family - despite the fact that dad had to work long hours (he was a taxi driver), he never fail to bring the entire family out whenever he can. I can still remember how he would come back early on Saturday evenings and bring the entire family out once in a while. Although I was very young then, but my memories still lingered around those places that he brought us to - the then satay-club, airport, botanic garden, etc, and whenever I passed by these places that held fond and cherished memories for me, I recall the good times spent there. Somehow, all 8 of us managed to squeeze into dad's taxi and I would always be the one sitting on my mum's lap (well, being the youngest and the smallest in size ... haha). My siblings will always tell me to bend over and hide myself whenever they spotted a police car nearby (until now, I can't figure out if they are teasing me, or it is a fact that sitting on my mum's lap is against the law ... but then, but what the 5 of them squeezing behind the passenger seats?? Hmm...). Dad also bought goodies back for us whenever he can, although we knew that he don't have a lot of extras that he can spent.
3) Discipline - dad is very supportive of mum whenever she disciplines us. Whenever we are disobedient or whenever we don't get good results in school (not because they pressure us, but because we were lazy and did not do our best) or whenever we are rude, etc - mum would really whack us, and the way my parents disciplined us is this - if one gets punished, all get punished. In a way, this taught us siblings to really look out for one another instead of getting each other into trouble and "gloating" over one another's "misfortunes". This was another important lesson my parents taught us - the love, unity and harmony in a family. To them, it takes "fate" (well, for lack of better word) to belong to the same family and blood is thicker than water - there should never be any time where we are to be found squabbling over trivial or major things that breaks sibling ties. My parents don't believe in one being the discpilinarian, and the other being the "consoler" - to them, the message has to be sent across, that both of them are disciplinarian, and there's no way we can sneak out of punishment by coming to either one of them for "help" - it will only confuse us and make us rascals, they felt.
Dad was also my "driving instructor". I still remember when I first got my driving license and how he and my mum chipped in to sponsor my very first car. In fact, being the youngest, I'm really very much doted upon, although my brother who's the only son, also gets very much attention from my parents. My parents wanted to ensure that I manage to use the ability to drive as often as I can, so although I don't really need a car then, they got one for me. I can still recall how I needed to leave the car parked at home in the initial few weeks, take a bus to work and then back in the evening, and when my dad was free (he had retired by then) he would sit beside me as I drive the car out around the vicinity of the neighborhood. This lasted probably for close to a week or so until I was allowed to drive on my own - and they had to ensure that I call them from my office upon reaching the place safely. Dad would always be giving me tips on how to maintain the car, how to check the oil, temperature, etc, etc. My only regret now is that I have taken all these for granted - if only I had listened more attentively to him. I really missed all these "lessons" that he so freely wanted to teach me with ...
I had a really good father and of course what I've learnt from him surpasses what I've written here. I guess my only "consolation" was that I managed to initiate and plan for his 70th birthday celebration (a big bash) for him a few years before his death. Well, I only wished I had done more, but alas ... such is the agony of mankind - we always regret when it's too late, isn't it?
In any case, I really thank the Lord for my father, and of course my mum, and all my siblings. They taught me valueable lessons in life, and molded me to be who I am today. Without them and their support, I couldn't and wouldn't have come that far. Hold dear to what you have, otherwise when regrets come, they are always too late for us to do anything ...
Today is Father's Day. My family have not celebrated Father's Day for 9 years (this year inclusive) ever since my dad passed away on 17 Feb 1999.
I come from a very traditional Chinese family where exchanges of "I love you" are not freely spoken, neither are gestures of love (hugs and embraces) freely given. Nevertheless, I grew up in a very good family environment where my parents (even though they received less than primary school education) loved and cared for every single one of us, and they also taught us very good characters and values in life. As I recall my younger days and what I learnt from my dad, I thought I'd write this in loving memory of him ...
1) Hardwork and commitment - my dad was the only breadwinner for many years until my siblings stepped out into the working world after completing their education. Despite the number of mouths he had to feed (my mum, plus 6 children), dad never grumbled about how hard he had to work to bring in the bacon. In fact, mum always told us how great a dad we had - especially when he was the only breadwinner, he could even single-handedly buy a well-furnished, decent looking 4-room flat for all of us to stay in, and also ensuring that all of us have our basic education (at least until the end of Sec 4). None of us had to stop our education half-way to work or supplement family income, neither did we remember any day when we ever starve from hunger. That was how great a dad I had that showed us a true example of not being afraid of hardwork and commitment.
2) Love for family - despite the fact that dad had to work long hours (he was a taxi driver), he never fail to bring the entire family out whenever he can. I can still remember how he would come back early on Saturday evenings and bring the entire family out once in a while. Although I was very young then, but my memories still lingered around those places that he brought us to - the then satay-club, airport, botanic garden, etc, and whenever I passed by these places that held fond and cherished memories for me, I recall the good times spent there. Somehow, all 8 of us managed to squeeze into dad's taxi and I would always be the one sitting on my mum's lap (well, being the youngest and the smallest in size ... haha). My siblings will always tell me to bend over and hide myself whenever they spotted a police car nearby (until now, I can't figure out if they are teasing me, or it is a fact that sitting on my mum's lap is against the law ... but then, but what the 5 of them squeezing behind the passenger seats?? Hmm...). Dad also bought goodies back for us whenever he can, although we knew that he don't have a lot of extras that he can spent.
3) Discipline - dad is very supportive of mum whenever she disciplines us. Whenever we are disobedient or whenever we don't get good results in school (not because they pressure us, but because we were lazy and did not do our best) or whenever we are rude, etc - mum would really whack us, and the way my parents disciplined us is this - if one gets punished, all get punished. In a way, this taught us siblings to really look out for one another instead of getting each other into trouble and "gloating" over one another's "misfortunes". This was another important lesson my parents taught us - the love, unity and harmony in a family. To them, it takes "fate" (well, for lack of better word) to belong to the same family and blood is thicker than water - there should never be any time where we are to be found squabbling over trivial or major things that breaks sibling ties. My parents don't believe in one being the discpilinarian, and the other being the "consoler" - to them, the message has to be sent across, that both of them are disciplinarian, and there's no way we can sneak out of punishment by coming to either one of them for "help" - it will only confuse us and make us rascals, they felt.
Dad was also my "driving instructor". I still remember when I first got my driving license and how he and my mum chipped in to sponsor my very first car. In fact, being the youngest, I'm really very much doted upon, although my brother who's the only son, also gets very much attention from my parents. My parents wanted to ensure that I manage to use the ability to drive as often as I can, so although I don't really need a car then, they got one for me. I can still recall how I needed to leave the car parked at home in the initial few weeks, take a bus to work and then back in the evening, and when my dad was free (he had retired by then) he would sit beside me as I drive the car out around the vicinity of the neighborhood. This lasted probably for close to a week or so until I was allowed to drive on my own - and they had to ensure that I call them from my office upon reaching the place safely. Dad would always be giving me tips on how to maintain the car, how to check the oil, temperature, etc, etc. My only regret now is that I have taken all these for granted - if only I had listened more attentively to him. I really missed all these "lessons" that he so freely wanted to teach me with ...
I had a really good father and of course what I've learnt from him surpasses what I've written here. I guess my only "consolation" was that I managed to initiate and plan for his 70th birthday celebration (a big bash) for him a few years before his death. Well, I only wished I had done more, but alas ... such is the agony of mankind - we always regret when it's too late, isn't it?
In any case, I really thank the Lord for my father, and of course my mum, and all my siblings. They taught me valueable lessons in life, and molded me to be who I am today. Without them and their support, I couldn't and wouldn't have come that far. Hold dear to what you have, otherwise when regrets come, they are always too late for us to do anything ...
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