The truth will set you free!
The truth will set you free!
Jesus said in John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
I wonder how many of us honestly, prefers to hear the truth than to continue living in deception, or perhaps continue living in our self-made bubbles that grow bigger over time - only to be burst and fall from on high when they finally burst? Which is better? A short-lived deception but lesser pain, or a long-lived deception which generates more pain? Most of the time, truth hurts, doesn't it? And I guess that's why, nobody likes the truth.
It's the same with Jesus' time - He was so plainly honest that mankind are living in darkness, and although they have seen the light, they refused to come into the light or have anything to do with it (John 3:19-21). After all, coming into the light hurts, isn't it? The light beams right into the eyes - and for people who have been blinded for a long time, that beam pricks and hurts. Besides, coming into the light shows the reality of things - what has been wrong, what sins ought to be repented of, what character needs to be rebuilt, etc.
Coincidentally, today's ST's editor for "Mind Your Body" wrote about "taking (and giving) criticism gracefully" and I thought she suggested some good pointers:-
On taking criticism - the first reaction, apparently, should be no reaction. In the words of one psychologist, sit back and take it all in. Immediate reaction can lead to defensiveness and counter-reaction. What about the criticism was true? Have I heard it before? What would it cost me to change? Psychologists advise focusing on the message rather than the messenger, which can be distracting. After all, you may find the message is a valid one. It may be that the problem is with the person criticising you.
On giving criticism - Learn to separate the offence from the offender. Emotional finger-pointing is not constructive.
Being honest with somebody is actually a thankless job. Just look at Jesus - He was bold in confronting mankind, and was plainly honest - but what did He get in return? A rejection of that light ... a scorning of His love ... a crucifixion of God's very dear Son who loved us enough to confront us with the truth.
I remember being very honest with pal once, when I felt that she had allowed many excuses in her life to become "convenient excuses", so much so that everytime something happened, she would use that as an "excuse". Rightly or wrongly so, only she knows. But as a friend, I spoke plainly and honestly to her about what I felt - needless to say, her bubble burst and she was hurt, and we didn't speak for a few days. I can understand this reaction because most of the time when people are confronted with the truths, they will need time to wrestle with what they have heard and struggle within themselves before coming up with a "solution" or facing the facts. For me, my part is to give them that space and not push them if they are not ready to come out of their cave and talk.
I can't remember how many thankless "jobs" I did to good friends by being honest with them (caution: I have to be careful that I don't come across with condemning, or "holier than thou art" attitude when I speak the truth, but truly out of love and concern), but one thing I'm really thankful for are these friends finally appreciated what I said and our friendships became stronger than before after that - many of them could honestly share with me some problems because they know (1) I won't take sides, (2) I won't condemn them, (3) I will speak the truth that would help them.
I have to agree with what Oscar Wilde said, "True friends stab you in the front" - yes, it's true that it bleeds and it's painful, but I would rather know that I'm hurt and I'm bleeding than not to know about an arrow I've been shot at behind the back by my enemies.
The writer of ST "Mind Your Body" concluded with saying that "sometimes I wonder if I'm overly sensitive to criticism because I grew up in a society which views it as a sign of failure. I don't think it's healthy to see it that way. One should have the self-esteem to take knocks in one's stride."
The truth will set you free! Bubbles or reality - that's our choice, really.
Jesus said in John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
I wonder how many of us honestly, prefers to hear the truth than to continue living in deception, or perhaps continue living in our self-made bubbles that grow bigger over time - only to be burst and fall from on high when they finally burst? Which is better? A short-lived deception but lesser pain, or a long-lived deception which generates more pain? Most of the time, truth hurts, doesn't it? And I guess that's why, nobody likes the truth.
It's the same with Jesus' time - He was so plainly honest that mankind are living in darkness, and although they have seen the light, they refused to come into the light or have anything to do with it (John 3:19-21). After all, coming into the light hurts, isn't it? The light beams right into the eyes - and for people who have been blinded for a long time, that beam pricks and hurts. Besides, coming into the light shows the reality of things - what has been wrong, what sins ought to be repented of, what character needs to be rebuilt, etc.
Coincidentally, today's ST's editor for "Mind Your Body" wrote about "taking (and giving) criticism gracefully" and I thought she suggested some good pointers:-
On taking criticism - the first reaction, apparently, should be no reaction. In the words of one psychologist, sit back and take it all in. Immediate reaction can lead to defensiveness and counter-reaction. What about the criticism was true? Have I heard it before? What would it cost me to change? Psychologists advise focusing on the message rather than the messenger, which can be distracting. After all, you may find the message is a valid one. It may be that the problem is with the person criticising you.
On giving criticism - Learn to separate the offence from the offender. Emotional finger-pointing is not constructive.
Being honest with somebody is actually a thankless job. Just look at Jesus - He was bold in confronting mankind, and was plainly honest - but what did He get in return? A rejection of that light ... a scorning of His love ... a crucifixion of God's very dear Son who loved us enough to confront us with the truth.
I remember being very honest with pal once, when I felt that she had allowed many excuses in her life to become "convenient excuses", so much so that everytime something happened, she would use that as an "excuse". Rightly or wrongly so, only she knows. But as a friend, I spoke plainly and honestly to her about what I felt - needless to say, her bubble burst and she was hurt, and we didn't speak for a few days. I can understand this reaction because most of the time when people are confronted with the truths, they will need time to wrestle with what they have heard and struggle within themselves before coming up with a "solution" or facing the facts. For me, my part is to give them that space and not push them if they are not ready to come out of their cave and talk.
I can't remember how many thankless "jobs" I did to good friends by being honest with them (caution: I have to be careful that I don't come across with condemning, or "holier than thou art" attitude when I speak the truth, but truly out of love and concern), but one thing I'm really thankful for are these friends finally appreciated what I said and our friendships became stronger than before after that - many of them could honestly share with me some problems because they know (1) I won't take sides, (2) I won't condemn them, (3) I will speak the truth that would help them.
I have to agree with what Oscar Wilde said, "True friends stab you in the front" - yes, it's true that it bleeds and it's painful, but I would rather know that I'm hurt and I'm bleeding than not to know about an arrow I've been shot at behind the back by my enemies.
The writer of ST "Mind Your Body" concluded with saying that "sometimes I wonder if I'm overly sensitive to criticism because I grew up in a society which views it as a sign of failure. I don't think it's healthy to see it that way. One should have the self-esteem to take knocks in one's stride."
The truth will set you free! Bubbles or reality - that's our choice, really.
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