Endless ...

Endless ...

There's endless readings to complete ... the mountains just don't seemed to move an inch
There's endless revision to do ... the lessons just never stop ending
There's endless assignments to research on ... the work just never seemed to end
There's endless chores to do ... the floor & washrooms never clean enough, the kiddies never fail to get themselves dirty
There's endless errands to run ... the list just goes on
There's endless letters to open and clear ... for self and others who solicit your help in their absence
There's endless emails to reply ... they just can't stop coming in for even a day
There's endless needs and concerns to attend to ... sometimes I just wish I can just call it quits
What am I getting myself into???

I'm beginning to cast some doubts on myself, my ability, my sensitivity quotient towards people, my leadership ability, the decisions I've made, etc ... I'm beginning to wonder if I'm living for myself or for the sake of others ... I'm beginning to wonder if others care as much as I do, and why should I if they don't? I'm beginning to wonder if all I've done is worth it ... I guess I'm beginning to be discouraged and doubtful about many things, and people ...

I've got questions - great deal of questions, for the Lord, for myself and for others ... but answers don't seem to come so quickly or easily ... sigh* I'm not that strong a person as my friends and family perceive me to be - sometimes I hope I can be allowed to be weak too ... maybe I just need to learn from this unknown author? Perhaps ..

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;

I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for help that I might do greater things;

I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy;

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;

I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy my life;

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.

I am among men, most richly blessed.

- Author unknown -

Stanley Lindquist writes, "God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them."

I understand, but ... BIG SIGH*