"Home-coming"
"Home-coming"
Yesterday was the school's Founder's Day (not the theological college, but the school I've worked in as a CMS - pardon me, I don't usually disclose too much info. about names of people or institutions, etc on www) and I was invited back for the service and dinner. I could not make it for the service as I had something on, so I went for the dinner, which was held in school this year, due to the re-opening and dedication of the concert hall.
As I drove into the school, and as I stepped out of the car, the feeling is just so ..... different - from when I was still a staff there.
Even though my principal had said that I'm always welcome back, and the school is just like my home, and a home that I had played a part and contributed to - somehow, the feeling of "home-coming" is just .... I can't quite express. On one hand, I was glad to be back "home", yet on the other hand, I felt somewhat "lost". Suddenly, I don't quite know how to speak with my ex-colleagues anymore ... what to say, what not to say, how much to say, etc. An invisible wall somehow just came up between us in a way ...
I guess perhaps in some sense, it's just like daughters who are married off and come back to their own parents' home - the feeling of being a part, yet now not a part ... the feeling of owning the home, yet now not owning it anymore ... I don't know, I don't have such experience, so I'm not sure if I'm even describing the right sentiments, but it's just not a very pleasant feeling to be so "lost" .... ???
Some ex-colleagues were asking me if I will return back to school after completing theological education - I really can't answer. I'll leave it to God. But I hope that if I do return, this "funny" feeling will be gone and I can once again feel "at home" =)
Yesterday was the school's Founder's Day (not the theological college, but the school I've worked in as a CMS - pardon me, I don't usually disclose too much info. about names of people or institutions, etc on www) and I was invited back for the service and dinner. I could not make it for the service as I had something on, so I went for the dinner, which was held in school this year, due to the re-opening and dedication of the concert hall.
As I drove into the school, and as I stepped out of the car, the feeling is just so ..... different - from when I was still a staff there.
Even though my principal had said that I'm always welcome back, and the school is just like my home, and a home that I had played a part and contributed to - somehow, the feeling of "home-coming" is just .... I can't quite express. On one hand, I was glad to be back "home", yet on the other hand, I felt somewhat "lost". Suddenly, I don't quite know how to speak with my ex-colleagues anymore ... what to say, what not to say, how much to say, etc. An invisible wall somehow just came up between us in a way ...
I guess perhaps in some sense, it's just like daughters who are married off and come back to their own parents' home - the feeling of being a part, yet now not a part ... the feeling of owning the home, yet now not owning it anymore ... I don't know, I don't have such experience, so I'm not sure if I'm even describing the right sentiments, but it's just not a very pleasant feeling to be so "lost" .... ???
Some ex-colleagues were asking me if I will return back to school after completing theological education - I really can't answer. I'll leave it to God. But I hope that if I do return, this "funny" feeling will be gone and I can once again feel "at home" =)
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