Did I make the right choice??
Did I make the right choice??
I'm not someone who cast doubts on myself very easily - not because I'm brilliant, smart or whatever, but because I know that when I've decided to take on something, I would have made up my mind that I'm capable of handling it, and I'll go all the way for it to complete it. My perfectionistic character "disallows" me to say "I quit" when I've started on something, and it "disallows" me to give it less than my best - and you guessed it ... it became a pressure upon myself.
Even though it's just week 2 of the semester, but looking at the reading list and assignments, plus the weekly revision required to stay on track for Greek, I'm beginning to "doubt" and "question" myself if I've made the right choice to take on 6 subjects this term ...
Having been revising Greek and realizing that somehow I just can't recall a lot of what I was supposed to makes me feel disappointed with myself - perhaps angry too about why I did not start earlier than I could have ... and I supposed seeing some of my classmates who decided to drop Greek 2 altogether makes me feel even more "unsure" if I've made the right decision to continue in this module. They are relieved from their weekly stress, having to study and revise for each week's quiz, trying to squeeze into their limited RAM all the vocabulary and so on. I really envy them - they're just like free birds ...
I'm really tempted to just drop this subject altogether ... but yet my "fighter spirit" tells me I've got to press on ... I've got to finish what I've started ... and most importantly, many other seniors before me had been able to complete it, so why should I retreat from this challenge?
I guess I've learnt and am reminded that I cannot allow myself to be easily influenced by the decisions of others if I've already decided upon something - the grass will always be greener on the other side from our limited perspective, and there's no end to envy - how much of it can I entertain? I may still have doubts if I'm being to gutsy about my choice of subjects for this semester, but I guess I really have to stick by my decision since I've made that right from the start ... the grace of God will be sufficient for me, and I think that alone should suffice and pull me away from all these casting shadows.
I'm not someone who cast doubts on myself very easily - not because I'm brilliant, smart or whatever, but because I know that when I've decided to take on something, I would have made up my mind that I'm capable of handling it, and I'll go all the way for it to complete it. My perfectionistic character "disallows" me to say "I quit" when I've started on something, and it "disallows" me to give it less than my best - and you guessed it ... it became a pressure upon myself.
Even though it's just week 2 of the semester, but looking at the reading list and assignments, plus the weekly revision required to stay on track for Greek, I'm beginning to "doubt" and "question" myself if I've made the right choice to take on 6 subjects this term ...
Having been revising Greek and realizing that somehow I just can't recall a lot of what I was supposed to makes me feel disappointed with myself - perhaps angry too about why I did not start earlier than I could have ... and I supposed seeing some of my classmates who decided to drop Greek 2 altogether makes me feel even more "unsure" if I've made the right decision to continue in this module. They are relieved from their weekly stress, having to study and revise for each week's quiz, trying to squeeze into their limited RAM all the vocabulary and so on. I really envy them - they're just like free birds ...
I'm really tempted to just drop this subject altogether ... but yet my "fighter spirit" tells me I've got to press on ... I've got to finish what I've started ... and most importantly, many other seniors before me had been able to complete it, so why should I retreat from this challenge?
I guess I've learnt and am reminded that I cannot allow myself to be easily influenced by the decisions of others if I've already decided upon something - the grass will always be greener on the other side from our limited perspective, and there's no end to envy - how much of it can I entertain? I may still have doubts if I'm being to gutsy about my choice of subjects for this semester, but I guess I really have to stick by my decision since I've made that right from the start ... the grace of God will be sufficient for me, and I think that alone should suffice and pull me away from all these casting shadows.
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